Harmony even when strikingly different with Alyssa Beltempo

Alyssa and Apollo, ©photo Alyssa Beltempo

[Series] On Slow Living #12

April 13, 2025

It is said that the yogini is she who knows how to use her own body, mind, and heart to self-generate the states of being she wants to experience. When seated in yourself and grateful for all that is, you have access to a well of energy. In other words, a reservoir in which your creative aliveness can swim. In sweet and unsettled times I remember that the focus I am adjusting is internal. And the more I’m able to walk in the nature of these words, and settle myself in their truth, the controlling mind drifts further away.

Abundance is not having everything you want but gratitude for what you have.

Alyssa, a slow fashion stylist, currently living in Italy was talking about this, yet from a slightly different angle. Something I always find interesting because though the essence is the same, the thought process or path to it is quite different. It just reaffirms how personal expression is wonderfully unique.

“I’ve said it before, and I will say it again, we already have these things within us. We carry them with us in our personality. In the way we express our joy and our love and our confidence…

“If you’ve been to Italy, and have tried to get anything done, you’ll know things take time. I mean even a good Sunday pasta sauce takes the entire afternoon to make. And even then, it’s not going to be perfect. It’s going to be different every time.

I don’t think any of this slowness is a coincidence. It takes experimentation and making mistakes to really get a deep understanding of who you are and what your preferences are. It’s unhurried. All of which is in direct contrast to the very fast pace of trends and the perfection that we see and strive for…”

Sprezzatura, Italian for an effortless grace and the art of making something difficult look easy, cultivates that internal presence of ease in one’s skin. It’s how an unexpected thing becomes expected, how an experience materializes and subsequently radiates. It’s quintessentially, your vibe.

In the process of asking others about slow living, I’ve detected a red thread—choice, intent, and presence. All of which surface in how folks choose to live. One of Alyssa’s core teachings as a stylist is reframing how to look at clothes. Instead of seeing them at face value: the pair of straight-leg blue jeans, what elements of style do they embody? It becomes about exercising the muscles of perspective and vibe and personality, where lack has no place. It becomes a kind of creative play from which all manner of possibilities arise. I think it’s brilliant. It’s also empowering because, again, the medium itself doesn’t matter. With practice and patience, inevitably curiosity and gratitude become your allies. It’s about the intention by which something is actively pursued—self-generated joy.

Thanks Alyssa for sharing your thoughts on slow living. I’ve learned so much from you. And most importantly, I love your spirit!

Yours, Erin

What does slow living mean to you?

Slow living to me means creating space for my solitude in a busy life and very active social life. The older I get, the more I recognize that my solitude is essential for me to create good work and give my best to my friends, family, and community. It's how I recharge. This comes in the way of routines. Without realizing it, I have a morning routine (working on a nighttime one!), but intentional slow living means defining those routines and protecting them so that I don't fall out of practice when I get busy or when I'm with people. As a chronic people-pleaser, my routines (except for a morning run) go out the window when I'm hosting, or generally overloaded with life. Which is often, LOL, not going to lie. However, I feel most in flow and grounded when I advocate for myself by prioritizing my solitude.

What I mean by solitude, well I had to answer this myself the other day because I didn't know! Journaling (preferably with tea), reading (preferably with tea), taking myself for coffee, lunch, dinner, dessert, taking myself to a museum or something like that.

Also, when I’m able to find a flow in my work (yes, this is also with tea)—creating videos or writing, or when I'm playing dress up by myself in my closet.

What's one thing (action, mindset, ritual, habit, etc.) that's essential to maintaining it in your day to day life?

My morning gratitude practice. It's simple and takes less than 3 minutes, but it's necessary. It is the bare minimum that I can do for my solitude and for myself when things get wild. When coupled with the rest of my morning routine, life is golden. My full morning routine goes like this: wake up and feed/walk Apollo ("walking" means anything from bringing him onto the balcony to watch the birds and street or wandering around the stairs/outside parts of my apartment. In Canada I have a mini garden/park that he loves, but here in Italy it's balconies and hallways), journal, answer emails, run (usually) or walk (if I'm getting over a cold or need something more gentle), then come home and get ready for the day.

How do you ensure that a little bit of wildness and or nature remains close?

This is tough in big Italian cities. At the time I’m writing this, I’m currently living in Milan, Italy. The parks can be beautiful but I'm spoiled where I’m from in Canada, where (mostly) unmanicured nature is within an hours distance at most.

I consider Apollo my connection to nature. He is always at his most raw and instinctual state. Sometimes I'll look at him and think how wild it is that two completely different species can live in harmony this way. I would love to live in the countryside so he can live like a normal cat ... I think all of nature's creatures deserve that. I know he's living a pretty good life in the meantime :)